Portal Potty
Written By: Dylan Ebbs
FADE IN:
INT. APARTMENT BEDROOM - MORNING
An alarm clock RINGS, vibrating the whole nightstand it's sitting on. RUSSELL (40) wakes up and turns the alarm off.
INT. APARTMENT KITCHEN - MORNING
Russell sits at the kitchen table with his cereal bowl in front of him. He stares blankly at the newspaper resting on the table.
INT. APARTMENT BATHROOM - MORNING
Russell stands at the sink as he brushes his teeth. He stares blankly into the mirror. The bathroom features a large mirror, a shower, and a toilet. There are no decorations.
INT. APARTMENT CLOSET - MORNING
Russell contemplates what clothes he is going to wear for work that day. The closet consists of clothes ranging in color from white to black (boring colors). Russell decides to wear black pants, a white button down, and a black tie.
INT. CAR - MORNING
Russell drives to work. The car is old and ordinary with no eye-grabbing features.
INT. OFFICE BUILDING CUBICLE - DAY
Russell sits in his cubicle, pretends to work, and longingly gazes at the collage he made of his top 8 travel destination in history pinned up on his cubicle wall. The poster features Ancient Rome, an island paradise, the Eiffel tower, etc.
INT. OFFICE BUILDING CUBICLE - DAY
CLOSE UP: ANALOGUE CLOCK
Time-lapse of passing time in order to reinforce the theme of boring.
INT. CAR - DAY
Russell drives back to his apartment from work, drained from the boring work day.
INT. APARTMENT BATHROOM - DAY
Russell uses the toilet.
INT. APARTMENT KITCHEN - NIGHT
Russell slowly eats his dinner. He has cooked a hamburger for himself. Russell's face lacks any sign of happiness.
INT. APARTMENT CLOSET - NIGHT
Russell slips out of his work clothes, throwing them on the ground of the closet.
INT. APARTMENT BEDROOM - NIGHT
Russell sets his alarm, turns off his night light, and goes to sleep.
MONTAGE: RUSSELL REPEATS HIS DAILY ROUTINE
A) INT. APARTMENT BEDROOM - MORNING - Russell wakes up
B) INT. APARTMENT KITCHEN - MORNING - eats his cereal
C) INT. APARTMENT BATHROOM - MORNING - Brushes teeth
D) INT. APARTMENT CLOSET - MORNING - Gets dressed
E) INT. CAR - MORNING - Drives to work
F) INT. OFFICE CUBICLE - DAY - Pretends to work
G) INT. CAR - DAY - Goes home from work
END OF MONTAGE
INT. APARTMENT BATHROOM - DAY
Russell, almost lifeless after the day at work, uses the toilet. In the process of flushing the toilet Russell begins to feel a whirling sensation as if he is being flushed down the toilet. Russell is being teleported. Confused, Russell, mid-teleportation, begins to hear the sounds of crashing waves. The familiar sound slightly calms him. The whirling sensation abruptly stops. Russell, in wonderment about what has just happened, flings the bathroom door open hoping to find his apartment. Instead of his apartment the door opens to an island paradise. Russell cautiously steps through the door.
EXT. ISLAND PARADISE (BAHAMAS) - DAY
An unpopulated beach with crystal clear water. The reflection of the sun shimmers on the water. Palm trees line the beach for miles. Russell looks back at the door he just stepped through and sees that his whole bathroom has teleported with him: walls, roof, and all. Russell takes a second and ponders what his apartment looks like without an entire bathroom. Turning away from his teleporting bathroom, Russell focuses his attention on the beach. Russell cautiously explores the beach, never more than a few feet away from the bathroom door. He realizes that he has seen this place before. Russell abruptly steps back through the bathroom door still confused at what his toilet has done.
INT. APARTMENT BATHROOM - DAY
Russell still unsure about what has happened decides to try and recreate what occurred only minutes ago in the hopes that he will get back to his apartment. He sits down on the toilet, gets up, and flushes. The whirling sensation starts again. Russell, still unsure about the whirling sensation, grabs hold of the sink counter top. The whirling stops. Hopeful, Russell again opens the door, but instead of his apartment the door reveals Paris. Russell steps through the door.
EXT. PARIS - EIFFEL TOWER - DAY
The structure towers over him. The area around it is unpopulated. Russell, amazed at where the toilet has taken him, gazes at the magnificent structure. After looking at the structure, dumbfounded about what is happening to him, Russell steps back through the bathroom door.
INT. APARTMENT BATHROOM - DAY
Russell, still trying to get back to his apartment, flushes the toilet again. The whirling begins. Russell again latches onto the sink counter top.
MONTAGE: RUSSELL KEEPS FLUSHING THE TOILET. HE IS BEING TAKEN TO DIFFERENT PLACES OTHER THAN HIS APARTMENT.
A) EXT. CHINA - THE GREAT WALL - DAY
B) EXT. ROME, ITALY - THE COLOSSEUM - DAY
C) EXT. ATHENS, GREECE - THE PARTHENON - DAY
D) EXT. EGYPT - THE PYRAMIDS - DAY
END OF MONTAGE
INT. APARTMENT BATHROOM - DAY
Russell, having now flushed the toilet a number of times, realizes that he has seen all the places the toilet has taken him before. Pondering this thought with great confusion, Russell decides to see if he will recognize the next place the toilet takes him. He flushes the toilet again. The whirling starts and stops. Russell opens the door. The door reveals Stonehenge. He steps through the door.
EXT. ENGLAND - STONEHENGE - DAY
The area is unpopulated and ominous. Surrounded by the large rocks, Russell looks around pondering. He abruptly realizes that the toilet is teleporting him to places according to the collage of pictures on his cubicle wall at work: Top 8 travel destinations in history. Considering this theory, Russell connects the dots in his head. A distressed look comes over Russell. His eyebrows raise, eyes widen, and his jaw drops. Russell figures out that he has been visiting all the places in chronological order. The last place of the top 8 that he hasn't traveled to is the Jurassic period. His eyes get even bigger, and his jaw drops even further, fearing the possibility of encountering a dinosaur with one more flush of the toilet. Russell quickly jumps back through the bathroom door.
INT. APARTMENT BATHROOM - DAY
Russell franticly runs around the bathroom trying to see if there is a reverse button anywhere in the bathroom. Russell checks the bathroom mirror and the sink. Lastly he checks the toilet. Russell lifts up the toilet seat and sticks his head in, but finds nothing. Next he lifts up the lid on the back of the toilet and peers in, but still finds nothing.
Finally he flips the lid from the back of the toilet over. Underneath the lid there are two large buttons that say forward and backward. Russell smashes the forward button in. The button briefly lights up and then a little shock of electricity appears. The circuits fry. The light in the button disappears. A large frown grows on Russell's face, and his eyes begin to droop. With little hope that the direction in which the toilet is taking him has changed, Russell musters up some courage and flushes the toilet hoping that there is a slight chance that the direction has switched. The whirling begins and stops. Russell cautiously inches towards the door. He cracks the door ever so slightly and sees a thick forest empty of dinosaurs. The benevolent forest entices Russell to step through the door. Russell steps through the door.
EXT. JURASSIC PERIOD - DAY
The trees are enormous and plentiful. The forest is eerily quiet. Russell looks around happily since he doesn't have to worry about getting eaten anymore. Russell does a 180 degree turn to head back towards the bathroom. Upon turning around Russell sees a menacing T-Rex standing behind the bathroom.
FADE TO BLACK.